So I Just Bought This...

$59 for Foils, Protein Treatment, Style Cut, Blow-Dry, GHD Finish plus Lash and Brow Makeover from Bounce Hair Body Beauty ($330 Value)

As the less recognised cousins of rabbits, hares may not be deemed as adorable, but they do exude sleek furry coats courtesy of super moisturising Protein Treatments. Keep human hair in check with today’s Groupon: $59 for a complete hair and beauty package, including a half head of foils, Keratin moisture treatment, style cut, blow-dry, GHD finish, lash tint, brow tint, brow wax and more at Bounce Hair Body Beauty, Highgate Hill ($330 value).


Highgate Hill hair institution, Bounce Hair Body Beauty, offers clients a well-balanced combo of international haircare experience with a complete hair makeover offered in this deal. Settle into comforting décor for up to two hours of pampering bliss with a luscious moisture and protein treatment, followed by a half head of foils, style cut to bring out each personality, blow-dry and glam GHD finish. Peepers are then prettied with all over preening, featuring a lash tint, brow tint and brow wax.
Bounce Hair Body Beauty brings babes and beaus of the river city back with acclaimed service and an internationally experienced edge. An indulgent jewel in convenient Highgate Hill, Bounce boasts accolades such as team member Elise Fraser’s DeLorenzo Australian Stylist of the Year. The charitable salon enchants Grouponites with a $50 voucher to use with their next service.

This is gonna be interesting...I've only ever permed my hair, and the last time I did that was 2+yrs ago. I didn't particularly enjoy sitting in the hairdresser's chair for 3hrs doing that either. Wait. The very 1st time I permed my hair, I was there for almost 5hrs. 'Cos there was a screw up with the equipment. Nothing caught fire, thank God. But it was a very very long visit. The subsequent 2 times I had the perms took about 3hrs each. Still bloddy long. But I'm overdue for a haircut anyway... might as well get it done for a bargain price and maybe change my look to something less boring.

Update: Booked myself in for 2nd Sept at 1.15pm. Am now experiencing anxiety. What...unholy torture have I just subjected my hair to?? Belatedly decided to google hair foils and highlighting procedures, and thought: this sounds worse than getting a permanent wave forced into my frickin' straight hair! zomg.

Fleshing Out

Intrigued by my "ha!" in the previous post? Well. Here we go.

Warning: This is a rant post.

My absolute peeve when online shopping: Scrawny, stick thin, bony models. The frickin' plastic mannequin has more curves than the human mannequin.

What's the point of a model? To show how the outfit will drape on a human body with soft flesh curving in all the womanly areas. I'm not talking bloddy garzongas like Ice-T's wife Coco or Katie Price. I'm talking God-given curves. This is online shopping. Not a runway in Milan, Paris, New York, or even Melbourne. If your customer doesn't know how the dress/top/pants/skirt/jacket will look like over curves, even with PTP measurements that are exact and unchanging, you are going to have not-so-satisfied or downright unhappy customers. (Unless all your customers are stick figures like your model.) Which means you will be extra busy fielding returns/exchange requests.

If you think that all Asians are naturally thin and have no curves to speak about, so it's ok to have teeny tiny humans display your clothes, I say to you: wake up and really look around. And if you think that draping your clothes on a human hanger is good for business, then why not just drape it on a sturdy good quality coat hanger? The broadness of a strong wooden coat hanger is probably about the same as the width of your human one. It's disturbing when a dress looks stunning on the human model but ugly on the mannequin. How is the customer supposed to decide if the outfit will look good on her or not?
Example:

Mind you, this is only an example. There are countless other instances of this happening. This is NOT to say that all stick thin models always make an outfit look good.
Example:

                                  vs

Same dress. Both models equally stick thin. Lighting and styling made a world of difference. But to me, you can't escape the fact that the outfit would look better on someone with meat on their bones and more discernible curves. I mean, the big fashion houses are slowly moving away from underweight models. Why do online shops persist in believing that thin will show off clothes to their best advantage?

Okok. I know designers still create clothes for borderline anorexic people to parade on the catwalk. But at the end of the day, with those designers, you can walk into a physical shop and try on the outfit before forking out $$$. And chances are, if one can afford the ridiculous prices, one can afford to eat organic food and go for slimming wraps (not that I think slimming spas work).

With online shops, they usually allow exchange for sizes, some allow returns for store credits, but I don't think any online retailer operates like a bricks and mortar shop and allow full refunds. So if you want to keep your customers completely happy, shouldn't you do whatever you can to make the decision process less fraught with uncertainty?

Providing accurate PTP measurements is just one part of it. A huge step forward compared to past practices, but still just one part. You must recognise that, otherwise you would just have plastic mannequins as models for your clothes. Since you are aware that customers want to see the garments on a real human, why would you pick the model who best resembles a coat hanger to showcase your collections? This is not haute coutre. This is casual or work wear. Women of all shapes and sizes are gonna be wearing these articles of clothing. Your customers shop online because it's a hassle shop-hopping for suitable clothes that are reasonably priced. Subconsciously attacking their self-esteem and subtly making the shopping process more brain-draining is not a good way to keep them coming back. Most women do NOT have measurements of 32-24-34.

And another thing. Why the fricking hell do some sites think that a skirt that only reaches 1/3 to 1/2 way down the thigh is acceptable for corporate/executive workplaces? My question is: what industry are you targetting? Or better yet, who is your targetted clientele? PR Executives? It's fine if you label the outfit as suitable for parties or cocktail functions. But the fact that you market your clothes to "executives" makes me wonder what's gone wrong. Just because the dress is of very good quality material doesn't mean it's automatically suitable for corporate environments.
Example:

Just in case my dear reader is thinking: but she's tall! of course the dress would be short on her. According to the site, the model is wearing a size S which is 77.5cm long. Size L is just 85cm long. Which will be a little short even for my vertically-challenged ass. AND the name of the dress is? The Corporate Dress. WHO the f*** wears this to a corporate work environment?! Throw on a sharp black blazer, and it's STILL inappropriate work attire. Did I miss something in the latest handbook on dressing for success? Oh wait. Does "success" mean something different now?

In spite of the propagation of "thin is ideal", I still love online shopping. But only at sites that carry clothes in normal sizes. Marilyn Monroe would have to wear XXL based on the sizing of some these websites.

After YEARS of Online Shopping, I Present to You...the Inaugural Review

So. Anyone who knows me would know that I'm completely comfortable with online shopping. Been doing it for more than 10yrs. What I've never done is reviewed stuff that I've bought. It's always been a private bitching/raving session with my nearest and dearest and that's it. But now I have a perfect excuse to post my ugly mug online.

The site at the heart of this review is Ministry of Retail. They have something called "Be an Ambassador" and what this basically means is that they get word of mouth publicity, clothes modelled by real women, other shoppers get an idea of how a piece of clothing or accessory will look in real life without professional photography and lighting, while the real woman gets a 10% discount off the next purchase. Do I sound cynical? No no. I'm not. I completely understand the cut-throat competitive retail industry made worse by global and virtual economy. And anything that helps me make that tempting article of clothing become a reality in my wardrobe is always a good thing. My cynicism is related to something else that will be fleshed out (ha!) in another post. This post is strictly about the Lady Audrey Dress that I bought in 2 colours (does that mean I get two 10% vouchers? hmmm).

Shopping on the site is easy. Like most sites, you click on a link, it takes you to the page of interest, if there are options for an item, they appear in a drop-down menu. And if you want to add the item to your cart, just click on the "Add to Cart"icon at the top right-hand corner. They offer free returns/exchanges (within reason, of course) and will ship to anywhere in the world that SingPost covers. What is interesting (for me, anyway), is the delivery system. After you've ordered your desired pieces, it will take 14 business days from the day they process your order (i.e. after you've paid) before they ship out the clothes. So depending on where in the world you are, it could take 3 to 6 weeks from the day you order to the day you receive the package. It's all stated on the site...if you're in a hurry for an outfit, don't order from them...or order well in advance. 'Cos even if you're living in SG, it will take at least 14 working days before you are able to go "ahhhhhh...so prettttyyy" (to the item you ordered. not to Ministry of Retail. hello. seriously). So anyway, it took just over 3 weeks for my order to be delivered to me in Australia.

The Lady Audrey Dress comes in Apricot and Black. Don't ask me why they called it Apricot when it's really a muted beige. Maybe it just sounds better...even though it's completely off the mark. Apricot. Anyone seen an Apricot fruit before? Even the dried ones don't have the colour of the Lady Audrey dress. But I digress.

Apricot and Black. Yes. The 2 staple colours any woman should be happy to have in her professional wardrobe. Why? 'Cos they are functional, inoffensive, and lets you demonstrate your brain instead of competing for attention. Navy, White/Cream/Apricot(!!), Black and Red are 4 colours that should always occupy some space in a woman's closet.

    Apricot                                                        Black

The dresses come as you see in the photos. One piece. Long sleeved with 3 non-functional buttons on each cuff. Slight pleating at each side of the dress. Sans any other adornment.

I got size L, which at 88cm (34.6") long falls at knee-length for me (perfect!!), although the sleeves might need shortening 'cos I've got shorter arms. The webpage for the dress states all the necessary measurements for each size, so I won't go into detail. Overall, a rather corporate-evironment appropriate attire (assuming you are around my height of 152cm i.e. 5ft). The material is made up of 65% Cotton and 35% Polyester, and is actually quite thick. It's not lined, but given the thickness of the cloth, it doesn't really need lining. The Apricot is not sheer at all, so don't worry about bright lights.

I like the dress. It's simple, feminine (yes. I did use that word), and you can accessorise however you want. Thin belt, thick belt, chain belt, brooch, opera-length necklace, blazer with statement buttons, or just wear it as it is. If you are no taller than 155cm (5ft 1"), this will be a great work dress. If you are blessed with height, you should check your company's dress guide to see if this is appropriate.