I Love Him...But Only On My Own...

On My Own - Eponine (Les Miserables)

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him 'til morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way
I close my eyes 
And he has found me

In the rain 
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights
Are misty in the river
In the darkness
The trees are full of starlight
And all I is see
Is him and me
Forever and forever

And I know
It's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself
And not to him
And although
I know that he is blind
Still I say
"There's a way for us!"

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare
And everywhere the streets
Are full of strangers

I love him
But everyday I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own

Somehow, at the end of this song, in my head, it just wants to segue to "A Heart Full of Love" immediately. Thoughts of Z seems to just cause these 2 Les Miz songs to follow each other.

You are Always on My Mind

Have been missing him since I left SG to come back to BNE. Everytime I spent time with him this trip back, it was always filled with laughs and just...good times. Really miss hanging out with him! Dammit. Just really glad that I spent my last night in SG with him. Wonder when we'll see each other again...

So I Went To Bed...

...musing over dresses and colours and the colour wheel theory. But ended up dreaming of DW. Not just any dream, but one that made him of dwarf-ish stature and diagnosed with cancer. AND to top it all, we had fallen in love with each other but steadfastly remained silent on our feelings until the day he left for SG. When I kissed him (on the lips), and he kissed me back, and we acknowledged the mutual love. But still parted ways without making any kind of plans for any future contact.

And then I woke up feeling very sad and wanting to go back to dreamland to do something more. What does this mean? I've always had a crush/longing for DW, but never thought it anything more than just a passing fancy. So...ok...it's kinda lingered on even 2+yrs after he's moved out of this house. But that's still no reason to suddenly dream of being in love with him! And bloddy hell. How twisted is it that I turned him into a dwarf-like physical build and gave him cancer???

Truth is, though...I'm still carrying a torch for him after all these years...*sigh*

Hyperventilation..

Just watched Fast Five and it was just as adrenaline-pumping as when I watched it in the cinemas... Oh..my..goodness. Freakingly hawt cast. Everytime Sung Kang came on screen, my heart skipped a beat. Love the way he kisses too! Up there with Christian Kane's kisses. On screen kissing, that is. I wouldn't have the foggiest idea how they kiss in real life. Dammit. *sigh*

ThePianoGuys ft. Alex Boye - Paradise (Peponi)

Oh. My... Stunning backdrop. Think this is a lot more rousing than the Coldplay original.

Goodbye

Time to say goodbye. To childish dreams. Hopes and wishful thinking. People you thought you knew. Fantasies that used to sustain you.

Reality beckons, and she can't be ignored. Shouldn't be ignored anymore.

God grant me the serenity to discern His voice, and strength to do His Will.

So long. Farewell. Aufwiedersehen. Goodnight.

Before I Forget...

...don't have time to elaborate on why I found these interesting. But...yeah...

British "psychic", Sally Morgan, has some 'splainin' to do about why she wears an earpiece in addition to a radio microphone. Reminds me so much of Leverage's Season 2 ep The Future Job. Luke Perry was excellent in the role of Dalton Rand though.

Ahhh...always fascinating how breakthroughs in hard science somehow get filtered down and adapted to concoct the "next big thing" in cosmetics and skincare. Figures why the cosmetic industry is a multi-billion dollar sector. Nanoblur...blur out your imperfections with nanotechnology. Whatever will they come up with next?

After the millions of articles in men's (and women's) magazines trying to figure out what women want, we now have insight into what men want...or feel, anyway. Only one issue I have with the article. I don't expect my men to "save" me. I just want them to stop looking to me to fulfil or continue their mothers' role.