......where you feel like breaking down and giving up. But you have to carry on. And ask yourself: what did you expect? Hearts and flowers and happy ever after? Life doesn't work that way. You know better. Keep the fantasies to things that, cognitively, you know will never happen, rather than provide any form of nurturing to the slightly-tangibles. Seriously. Just keep reminding yourself of the impossibilities, and you will pull through this. Like everything else, it will pass. Forget the pacts. The promises. The "if ever we..." And the subtexts. Focus on the words that are actually repeated. Hold on to them and ride them to safety. If ever there is a time to act on your head instead of your heart. It is now.
Einstein's (or Rita Mae Brown's) definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.